Over the past couple of months, I’ve lived the typical #momlife, with all the ups and downs you’d expect. Mostly, I’ve showcased the beauty of it. Like the cute chubby baby thighs, the smiles and giggles, the sweet clothes and toys, the active days on the go with the stroller, with baby sleeping soundly. That doesn’t mean though that there isn’t another side of the coin, too. Yes, babies are cute and all. And I obviously love mine (and my #momlife to go with it) like crazy. And of course, I have reported the odd negative aspect of #momlife, like the occasional poop explosion or burp accident or general sleep deprivation, too. But that doesn’t nearly cover it. Because #momlife, you guys, is tough shit.
Spoiler: if you’re, by chance, in your happy “still pregnant” bubble, and everything is rosy and you’re rosy-cheeked and glowing, like I used to, don’t read on! This is not for you! This is for the ones who’ve been there and done that. For the ones who’ve seen the good, the bad and the ugly of mamahood.
For starts, not only do I feel batshit crazy because of that sanity stealing sleep deprivation (hell, I haven’t slept for more than two hours a stretch and night for almost 5 months now). But I also feel the ugliest I have ever felt before, in my life. I have lost amounts of hair beyond words, up to the point where I find balls of hair in the vacuum on a daily basis and think of knitting patterns to turn it into a sweater, for, like, worse days. It’s disgusting and frightening. My hair obviously just looks sad. I’m seriously considering chopping it allll off, like, kamikaze short. Alas, I also know that short hair seriously doesn’t suit me, and it’d probably only make me feel worse afterwards, so that’s the only thing stopping me from the scissors… To make matters worse, my skin is the worst! To start with, it is so insanely dry (like, chipping on the elbows and other parts of the body I don’t want to mention). I am constantly uncomfortable in my own skin, literally. Itchy! Okay, so partly my fault, because I simply don’t want to make time for 10 minutes of lotioning myself every day, I’d much rather prefer a hot cup of tea instead and, maybe, if I’m lucky, put my feet up for all of five minutes, thank you very much. But omg my skin… constantly feels dry and itchy. Hand cream? Doesn’t help anymore. I think I’ll need a barrel full of coconut oil and soak in it for the rest of the week. And not to stop here, imperfections, anyone? Who knew your skin can break out like a teenager’s after having a baby. Unsurprisingly, my eyes are blotchy and constantly red rimmed and tiny from the lack of sleep, and framed by big, dark circles. And want to know the deets about my body’s hairy state? Well, it is pretty hairy, let me tell you… I haven’t been (able) to go for a bikini wax in forever, since Elma, really. So, there. In the beauty department, I’m obviously a big, big, moving chaos. And that’s just about actual BEAUTY.
In the overall looks and STYLE department, guess what? Minor crisis, right this way, too! You know how they say you should get dressed every day like you might bump into your ex? Yeah, the way I look, I don’t even want to bump into the mailman, really (he’s such a sweet guy, he always brings me my parcels right to the doorstep, he deserves better). When I venture into the city, nonetheless, fearless and brave as I am, I see stylish and beautiful people everywhere. Where do they all come from? I just look at their shiny hair, ironed clothes, beautiful but impratical handbags, well thought-out and coordinating outfits and general clean and polished states with longing. And think to myself: “I used to be that girl!”. Sheer incredulity. How can people actually have blowed out hair, and manicured hands, and a shiny-healthy complexion? AND wear heels! I bet their handbags are super organized, too, from the inside. No stray chewing gum papers. Really, this is all a bit too much for me.
When I decide to leave the house with little, which, in its own right, is already BRAVE enough, given the state of me, I am just happy that I wear something, like, pants and an old t-shirt and sneakers. Probably a coat that’s got yesterday’s puke on it, too. And a wintery scarf in spite of the summery temperatures outside, because god only knows I never wear the right things because I never have 2 minutes to think about anything these days. Always jealous of people who actually think of wearing ballerina flats, because, hey, it’s not minus 10 degrees today, like, you ought to take advantage of that kind of weather in Zurich. But never mind, I might be ready for spring weather, next year again.
And then there’s the whole house and the million of things I haven’t done at home.. But let’s not go there today, I can’t bear it. Haha.
You know what’s probably the worst of it all, though? I haven’t read a single page of a book, let alone a newspaper, watched a single movie or TV show fully from start to finish without either checking on babe or falling asleep during the opening credits. And I sooo long to watch a simple movie or my favorite show! Just to unwind and feel like a normal person – from the safety of my couch, wearing sweatpants and knitted socks, obviously, because let’s not get too crazy, too quickly. To just watch a movie again, with hubbie, like we used to, to unwind and just dream of different things for a while. To turn off this head that’s on overtime, constantly whizzing and whirring with thoughts, with to dos and groceries that need to be bought and stuff that needs washing and nails that need filing and clothes that need ironing (frankly though, that never happens anymore). My life is one constant mental to do list nowadays. A movie would tooootally help, you see? NO, I don’t need a yoga lesson or a good meditation. And no I don’t even need a facial or a massage session (although, both wouldn’t hurt, obviously, thank you very much?). All I actually really want is a movie marathon, in peace and quiet. We’re talking two hours straight of doing nothing. Is this too much to ask? Am I being selfish? Tell me, mamas, when will I have my movie night again?
So, it’s totally gaga of me to prepare a snack that’s dedicated to a movie night, but maybe that’s just my kind of coping strategy. Rather masochist, me, always have been. It just had to be a summer camp / movie night inspired snack for me. Might as well indulge in some goodies while feeding the little monster, right? NOW’s the time.
Bonus: this snack mix is whipped up in a jiffy! No cooking required! All you need is some good chocolate, some decent sourcing skills to find a couple other nice snacks, and, well, a bowl. And two hands. Seriously, anyone can do it. Even that sleep deprived, bat shit crazy mama.
Disclaimer: In spite of it all, inexplicably, mamahood is still totally beautiful and rewarding and fun. So exhausting and challenging, and sometimes making me downright miserable, but hey, worth it, right? That babe of mine, wouldn’t trade her for anything (not even a pair of fancy seasonally appropriate Chanel Ballerinas, and that means something).
Recipe not required, really, But I’ll write it out for you. Haven’t I got the time for that. Yours, truly.
TV Snack Mix – S’Mores Inspired
Ingredients:
1 cup each of your favorite savoury snacks (I used random Pretzels, but you might want to use chips or pop corn or nori… go crazy!)
1 cup each of your favorite sweet snacks (I used Cinnamon Minis, Marshmallow Mushrooms and Spelt Zoo Cokies)
1 cup (about 200 g) Lindt Extra Milk Chocolate, broken into chunks
Directions:
Measure out cups of everything to have an equal mix, or, really, just apply rule of thumb. Break the chocolate into individual pieces, the chunkier the better, right? Mix everything together. And ta-dah! Your snack mix is ready! Now if only you had the time for that favorite TV show… Shm. Alternatively, just fill snack mix into zip lock bags and take it on your daily stroll with baby. A mama’s gotta do what a mama’s gotta do.
Ramblings to be continued, soon enough. Kind of cathartic, this whole rambling business. Over and out now. Cheers!
Developed in cooperation with Lindt.
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