Valentine’s Candy Chocolate Bark

For some of you who care, Valentine’s Day is pretty close. And though I like my fare share of romantic comedies and believe in real life romance and magic, on a day to day basis, too, I only join the V-Day craze for the candy and the chocolates, natrually… #guilty. Hey, what? I’ve already got my sweetheart! So I can safely lean back and focus on the important things in life. Like… candy.

If you consult my Pinterest profile, you’d probably soon come to the conclusion that food is a big deal in my life. Well, desserts, really. Yes, I’m probably bribable like this; always an easy sugar victim, me. And rest assured I don’t discriminate – I like all sugary stuff equally. Candy and chocolates are the stuff my daydreams are made of. Though I admit I have dreamed about making my own chocolatey things. Bars, pralines, easter bunnies (you know, only the simple things, ha). Luckily for me, the “personlization” trend is on my side. Nowadays, you can even make your own funky Müesli and order it online, goddamnit! Raisins, no raisins, quinoa puffdipuff, dates, shock-frozen strawberries, super-air-popped vintage spelt chips… and whatever else the heck your heart desires, you can get it.

Where’s the fun in buying the things your heart desires, though, I am asking you…? I mean, if you can have it the difficult way – you know, blood, sweat and tears – why take the easy way out?

In another life, I must have been a maître chocolatier… Slightly sadistic. So I got out my stash of Lindt Crémant Noir 49% – safely hidden in my bookshelf, don’t tell anyone – and got down to playing creating! I’ll probably never grow up… Or I’ve got a serious case of OCD. Either or, I think I’m doomed. Must arrange candy neatly, argh! It really is an obsession.

Only a madwoman wakes up at 07:30 on a gloomy Sunday to be crouching on the floor in her pajamas, flatlaying her a bagful of candy in neat lines*… *Uhm, did I mention I am slightly disappointed but only realized after I ate most of the candy was used up that the lines aren’t really straight…! Argh, so stressful, this OCD… sighs. Doomed, you guys!

A pile of uncoordinated candy. This basically asks for a neat, military-style, color-coordinated line-up…! Right? Tell me I’m not the only one who needs to do this… Thank you. Did I mention I picked over the green-colored conversation hearts? They simply didn’t fit my color scheme. Well, win some, lose some. They didn’t suffer, rest assured. I made sure they didn’t suffer, no.

In other news, how cute are those pigs…?

Find the mistake, though. Found? Yep, there: one green conversation heart! Sabotage! Someone’s sabotaged my candy stash!

Btw, my better half called this “Valentine’s Pizza”, lol. I’m not sure that’s a good thing? Maybe I wasn’t a maître chocolatier, after all. Maybe I am just this: forever a big girl.

Grown-up advice: When creating chocolate barks, you can mix different chocolates, too. I used a dark base and a white chocolate top layer, that I tinted pink. Go as wild with the toppings as you want! I used my favorite candy; including conversation hearts (their sourness and texture adds a fun twist to chocolate), mini marshmallows, differently flavored heart gunmmies and sprinkles for good measure.

[fourcol_one][/fourcol_one][twocol_one]Valentine’s Candy Chocolate Bark

Ingredients:
300 g Lindt Crémant Noir 49%
200 g white chocolate
Optional: 2 tbsp. butter
Food coloring
2 cups mixed candy of your choice (I used conversation hearts, mini marshmallows and gummy hearts)
Some sprinkles (I used pale pink ones and red heart-shaped ones)

Directions:
Break up the chocolate. Melt the dark chocolate on lowest heat, stirring occasionally to smooth it. Spread out the melted dark chocolate on a baking sheet and shape it into a rectangle of about 0.5 cm thickness. Smooth it over with a spatula. Put it in a cool place to harden. In the meantime, melt the white chocolate in a clean new pan (note: white chocolate should be heated on even lower heat or it will get sticky and crumbly). If needed, add some butter to help it get silky smooth. Tint with a drop of food coloring. When the dark chocolate has hardened, spread the white chocolate on top. Decorate with the candy and sprinkles, pressing the gummies gently into the white chocolate layer. Chill some more, until the bark has completely hardened. Before cutting the bark into chunks, let it come to room temperature (note: a chocolate that’s too hard will result in breakage when sliced). Cut or break into chunks and wrap in cellophane bags. Ready for gifting![/twocol_one][fourcol_one_last][/fourcol_one_last][gap height=”20″]

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