it occurred to me this past weekend that i might be living in the past… like, not really living in the moment, not really looking forward to the future, much, either. just, really, daydreaming (and then some…) about the good years that are behind me. and i don’t mean yesterday or last year… but way back, like a decade, to when i was at the beginning of my tween years (gee, am i sounding like my own grandma…? sure am… it’s bloody annoying… oh, hi, nonna! i love you!).
i am bathing in memories about my life a decade ago… it was a great time, sure, and pretty much objectively so. but isn’t it paradox that back then, when i had everything, i was more looking forward to the future? and now i wish i could go back to that time, because it was so carefree and i was so young, and things were still… well, possible, in a way? i’m not saying that things aren’t possible at my age. they certainly are. you just realize that the chances don’t just jump at you, but you have to work hard for them.
well i’m feeling rather silly, hopelessly romantic and, well, melancholic for being past-oriented… and melancholic isn’t exactly the trait you’re striving for, is it. melancholy is only slowing you down, and spoiling the good presence, the good moments, that you’ll never get back. the now.
so, friends, i need to regain my forces. and i’m afraid, the excuse like ‘i might just need a proper holiday’ is too lame… but, sure, as wise people say: time will tell. i guess i’ll need some ‘focus on the presence’ training… any volunteers? this country needs volunteers!
quinoa stuffed mini patissons
8 mini patissons (mini summer squash)
1 cup quinoa, cooked according to directions
1/2 cup sun-dried tomatoes
2 tbsp. olive oil
1 tsp. fleur de sel
1/2 lemon, juice
1/2 cup basil, finely chopped
1 drop harissa or sriracha chili sauce
cook the quinoa according to directions in lightly salted water. put aside and leave to cool; then add the tomatoes (finely chopped), olive oil, basil, lemon juice and harissa and season with salt. in the meantime, prepare the patissons: blanch them (as a whole), drain and cool under the running cold water for a while. chop off the ‘lids’ (about one third from the top). with an apple core remover (or whatever that’s called…) make tiny holes into the patissons, to remove some of the flesh and make room for the filling. put aside (you can use it in a soup or in a ratatouille). take a teaspoon full of the quinoa mixture and spoon it into the holed patissons. place the lid on top. serve as an appetizer or healthy snack.
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